Welcome/back friends & family & other loved ones, hope you are doing okay! This feels like an absurd time to try reviving the blog I established and abandoned at Valentine season last year, because what is even happening right now. But really what else should I be doing? It’s possible that this tenuous and chaotic national moment is as good a time as any to make another attempt at sharing these things.

One of many useful concepts we’ve picked up while helping an ADHD kid navigate childhood and education in a neurotypical world (and in the process learning a *lot* about our own uniquely built minds) is that of accommodations. The term exists mainly to describe the ways schools and workplaces support people with ADHD in meeting the demands of their environment and making use of their gifts, but we use it to mean any tool we develop to get what we need and create what we’re capable of making. It’s been gratifying to read up on the history and science of neurodivergence and come across experts recommending accommodations that we adopted way before we had kids or knew the jargon, like inviting a bunch of people over so we have to knuckle down and get the house presentably clean, or turning one entire kitchen wall into a chalkboard and making that our shared all-purpose calendar, which we’ve done ever since we first moved in together. Also all our doorless cabinets and open closets and wall unit cubbies and clothing shelves are ADHD friendly — turns out a certain kind of brain needs to see an item to remember that it exists.

In recent years I’ve realized that the whole valentine ritual is a huge annual accommodation for me, with several essential functions. It reminds me of all the people I love, nearby and scattered around the country and globe, in a part of the year that often finds me hunkered down doomscrolling and/or phyically unwell and/or unsustainably busy. It gives a lift to my spirit (and I hope to some of yours) in a season that can get existentially gloomy even for people who don’t have Valentine’s day adjacent birthdays, and it redirects my attention to the unique joys of knowing each of you. It also pushes me to reflect on and make meaning of the year that has been, and every year there are extra stories I want to tell and recommendations I want to make and dumb jokes and articles and pictures I want to share — so I will be doing my best to put those here for you to find over the next couple of days. Look around if you have a minute, call or text or come through if you’d rather. In any case I hope you stay safe and sane and connected and grounded through whatever 2025 brings us, and know that you are loved ❤️